I Knew There Was a Reason for my Irrational Sciurophobia

Sciurophobia, of course, means fear of squirrels. And here is an excellent reason for my fear:

A rash of squirrel deaths from plague in the middle of Colorado's largest city has heightened surveillance for the deadly but curable disease. No humans here have been infected with plague, the "Black Death" disease that killed millions in 14th-century Europe.

Did you catch that? Squirrels CARRY THE BLACK DEATH. This is huge. No more will I be a half-hearted persecutor of squirrels; nay, I shall hunt them down like the filth they are, in every forest, every alley, every abandoned old dumpster.

On cold autumn nights, squirrels will tell of the legend of the human who hunts without mercy.

They will fear me.